


Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-24
Updated: 2005-01-23
Packaged: 2018-12-27 00:19:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12069918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Plot Bunny by Carmina. Brian is living in the year 2001, while Justin is living in 1701.  However, they find a way to communicate with eachother.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

“Brian, get your ass over here and help with this!” 

Brian rolled his eyes and slowly made his way over to where his friend was standing. “Calm down Mikey, you won’t be without my presence in a second.” 

“Ha ha.”

Brian smirked but made no reply. He bent down to pick up the desk. It was oak, handmade, and in relatively good condition, considering it must be at least 200 years old. Brian was drawn to it the moment he saw it; somehow it seemed like it needed to be in his bedroom.

“Just sit it here.”

Michael breathed in deeply and looked around. “I wonder what else is hiding behind these walls.”

Brian simply shrugged and moved to put his arm around his best friend. “Ah Mikey, if I only gave a shit. Now, you should be running along. We don’t want your husband to get worried.”

“Ben knows I’m helping you. But, I guess I should get going, it’s getting late. You gonna be okay here?”

“Why wouldn’t I be, Michael? I’m not a child. It’s my first night in my big, spooky house…ooohh.” Brian made a mock scared face and wiggled his fingers. “Besides, I have a feeling I’m going to have some company.”

“Figures. Well, I’ll see you later.” Brian bent to give Michael a kiss goodbye.

After he was sure Michael was gone, Brian sat down at the desk. He wondered exactly how old it was, and who made it. They did a wonderful job. He had originally thought of selling it, but in the end found that he couldn’t do it. It just seemed like it belonged here, with him.

He ran his hand against the top of it, and then down the side. It was still really smooth. He put his hand underneath it, and ran his finger across what felt like a crack in the wood. Was that what it was? No, it was too wide to be a crack. Brian slid his hand inside and heard something click. He pulled it out, and realized he was holding a hidden compartment. Inside of it there lay a book. 

Brian took it out and looked at it. It was very old, he noted, which wasn’t surprising considering where it came from. He looked at it for a minute, wondering if he should open it. Why not?

Brian set the book back on the table and carefully lifted the cover. Part of him was scared it would just crumble in his hands.

“Holy shit.” It had been written in. When his eyes fell upon the date, Brian took a deep breath. He looked at his watch to make sure he wasn’t full of shit. It said, July 18, 2001. Brian’s rationality took over, and he convinced himself it was just a coincidence. 

July 18, 1701

Today was beautiful. Well, it was raining terribly, but that did not matter in the least, because I got to see him. He does not know of my obsession with him, and for that I am grateful. I can only imagine what he would do if he found out—Lord, what would the town do? I would be hanged without a trial. I have tried to suppress my feelings for him, but all attempts are in vain. I do not wish for him to love me, for I could never love him. We have spoken but two words to one another. From what I have observed though, his only redeeming qualities are in his body. However, I still feel an attraction to him. He is so beautiful that I find myself wanting him more and more with each passing day. I am sure he must be skilled in the only area I ever wish to get to know him better in. I suppose I will never know though. Well, I must go wash up for supper. I do not know how I would keep my sanity if it were not for this book. 

Justin Taylor

Brian set the book back into the “secret drawer.” For some reason it seemed like the right thing to do. It was so personal, and the kid had so much frustration it seemed, that Brian wondered why there was only one entry. 

After his bout with the diary, Brian decided to forego the company he had been expecting. Instead he decided to take a shower and make it an early night. When his head hit the pillow he realized for the first time how tired he was. Actually, he was exhausted.

He rolled over, trying to get comfortable. He missed the glow of his blue lights already. Fuck, maybe moving from the loft wasn’t such a good idea. But, Brian knew he needed a change of some kind; life was just getting too boring. He would get new lights. Brian’s last thoughts were of the journal as he drifted off to sleep.

When Brian woke up, the first thought in his mind was of the diary. He looked over at the desk and saw that there was a small candle sitting in the corner of it. Had he put that there? No…he must have without realizing it, that’s all.

Deciding it was much too early to be thinking, Brian made his way slowly to the bathroom. After jerking off in the shower, a bagel, and a hot cup of coffee, he was feeling much better. In fact, he felt good enough to take an early trip to the baths.

 

“You’re so fuckin’ hot.”

“I know,” Brian smirked at the trick du jour. He had made it exactly two-thirds of the way to the baths before seeing a completely fuckable man waiting for the bus.

A fuck and a blowjob later, the trick was ushered out of Brian’s sight. However, not before exclaiming Brian was “a great fuck, but and even greater asshole.” Brian had thanked him for that enlightening information.

As soon as the guy left, Brian found himself sitting at the desk again, holding the journal. He’d already read it, but he couldn’t resist the urge to read it again. He opened the book and almost crapped his pants. 

“No way… It’s just not possible.” He had to on something for sure. He blinked his eyes, but it was still there. Right in front of his face. There was no way this was happening, but here it was. Resisting the urge to run out of the house and never come back, Brian let his eyes fall to the next entry.

July 19, 1701

Last night at dinner I almost keeled over! David was sitting at the table when I came downstairs. It took all I had not to ravish him instead of what was on my plate. I fear my mother noticed, but if she has, she has not brought it to my attention. It was a blessing from heaven when they excused me. I feigned a headache; however, that was not exactly where my ache was located. I am in such fear that someone will find out about me. I just wish there was one person like me—anyone. I hate feeling so alone. Sometimes I feel like I just do not belong here.

Brian put the journal back on the desk. This was crazy—how had it happened? A million questions raced through his brain, but unfortunately no answers. This, this was weird—but a little thrilling. If Brian could read this, would the other boy--Justin-- be able to read it if Brian wrote to him? That would only be logical—well, this in itself wasn’t logical, but hey, there was no harm in trying. Brian opened the journal back up and pulled out a pen.


	2. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Justin Taylor sat leaned up against a willow tree, staring intently at the piece of paper in front of him. His hand moved gracefully along the page, but his brows were knitted in deep concentration. He was so involved with what he was doing that he didn’t hear footsteps coming up behind him. He would have been completely oblivious of the person standing beside him if it had not been for the shadow the body cast on his paper. Justin jumped and almost dropped his drawing. He quickly tried to hide what he was doing.

“Hello,” the girl smiled brightly at him. The look in her eyes was obvious to everyone but Justin.

“Daphne, you startled me!”

Obviously not caring that she had nearly made him pee his pants, Daphne asked, “What are you doing Justin?”

“Oh, nothing…just drawing that tree over there. So…did you want something?”

“Your mom is looking for you. She says you are late getting home again for the third time this week. I don’t see you as much Jus, is this where you are, drawing trees?” For a second she looked hurt, and Justin almost felt bad. “Anyway, you’re late for dinner.”

Justin nodded and got up. His mother was going to be angry; she always was when he left without telling her where he’d be. What was he going to use as an excuse this time? He could just tell her the truth; that he’d gone to the woods to draw naked men. That would definitely go well over dinner.

He fell into step with Daphne, and the two made small talk the rest of they way home. When they got there, Jennifer Taylor was waiting on the porch.

“Justin Taylor, what am I going to do with you?” she said, shaking her head. “If your father was here he would be furious. You can’t keep neglecting your chores.”

“Sorry, Mom.” Jennifer sighed and shook her head. She looked at Justin and wondered what her son was hiding from her.

After dinner was over, and the table was cleared, Justin excused himself to his room. Jennifer allowed him to go, but secretly vowed to figure out what was going on with her son.

Justin sat in front of his desk and let out the breath he had been holding all day. He felt comfortable here, with his journal. He knew it was safe where it was…his secret was safe where it was. It was best that way.

Justin stared down at the words in front of him. He hadn’t written those; but they were there. His head hurt. Maybe it was one of his friends or something playing a joke on him. Nobody knew about his journal though. Justin shut his eyes, and tried to make sense of what he had just seen. Knowing he wouldn’t be able to, he looked down again and began to read.

 

July 20, 2001

Today I read the journal again, and this time I just had to write back. I’m not sure how this happened, or why it’s happened, but it’s like a glitch in time or something. It’s fucking weird. Every rational bone in my body is telling me to run away and forget this ever happened. I can’t though; I feel compelled to talk to you. I wanted you to know that you’re not alone in your sexual “taste”. Justin, I know it doesn’t help you because I’m living four hundred years later, but I’m gay. Gay—that’s what they call it now, among many other things. I’m also ‘out’, which just means that I don’t hide the fact that I’m gay. Well, hopefully you will write me back.

Later,

Brian

 

By now most of the initial fear Justin had felt had all passed. What took its place was a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach. This was exciting…this could be a good thing. This was someone like him—someone he could talk to and get advice from. Someone he could trust not to tell anyone; he couldn’t tell anyone that would affect Justin anyway.

About an hour later, after he had replied to Brian and got ready to sleep, Justin lay awake in bed thinking about what Brian had written to him. Four hundred years into the future, there were more people like Justin. As strange as it sounded, it made Justin feel a lot better.


	3. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Brian glanced up at the clock and inwardly groaned. He still had at least another two hours before she would let him go home. He should never have promised Debbie that he would have dinner with the Family—not that he minded spending time with them, because whether he admitted it or not, he really did love them all. It was just that he wanted to go home now, because he knew what would be waiting for him when he got there; another ‘letter’ from Justin.

It had been almost two months since he had first read Justin’s diary, and they had been writing to each other practically every day ever since…well, give or take a few times. It surprised him how much he actually enjoyed reading and writing to Justin. It was weird how much they could actually talk about, having never seen the other before in their lives, and with the fact both of them were from a very different time period. They talked about everyday things though, like how their days went, their interests, and a lot about gay sex; hey, Justin was curious, and who better to learn from than Brian?

All the obstacles didn’t seem to matter though, because Brian had found a friend other than, and a bit like Mikey. Justin was like Michael because Brian didn’t have to put up a façade around either of them, and he felt like he could count on them. Also, call it an early midlife crises, but Brian was beginning to realize that coming home to a house with no one to talk to sucked. Not even Mikey was around anymore; he had Ben now. All just as well Brian supposed. It was ironic to him that the person who was quickly becoming one of his best friends, didn’t even exist in the world Brian was in now. 

 

“Brian…Brian!” Debbie lightly smacked him on the face. “Honey, are you okay?” She looked concerned.

“Well I was until you smacked me on the face, Deb.” Brian smiled at her in the way that he knew pissed her off every time. 

“You have been really distant tonight Brian,” Michael said.

“Maybe he’s tired; you know how the asshole fucks everything in sight twenty-four hours a day. I’m surprised he can even keep his eyes open. He’s probably just thinking about going to Babylon anyway, so that he can fuck some more.”

“You’re just jealous because—,” 

“Alright, shut the fuck up or all kick both your asses,” Debbie said. Brian just smirked at her and continued eating.

He closed his eyes and willed himself to stay and put up with Melanie until this was over.

******  
When Brian finally got home he immediately went to the desk to sit down. He opened the drawer and pulled out the journal; it was like checking his email.

September 18, 1701

Hey Bri,

How did your day go? Mine went pretty well I guess, except for the fact that my mother will not leave me alone. She thinks that I am hiding something from her, and I suppose that I am, but it is not something that she needs to know about. Oh well, enough about those issues. I told you I was an artist, right? Well, since I know we will probably never get the chance to really see one another in person, I drew a portrait of myself. It is on the next page. I just thought it might be nice to see your friend for once. Which reminds me, the picture is not in color, so I’ll describe some of them for you; my hair is blond, my eyes are blue, and my skin is creamy white. Brian, if it is not too much to ask, do you have a portrait of yourself that you could send me? I would really like to have one. Well, I have to go for now, but I will ‘talk’ to you tomorrow I suppose.

Later,

Justin

Brian smiled at Justin’s use of the word ‘later.’ He was sure that Justin had added several new words to his vocabulary.

He turned the page, and as promised a folded piece of paper fell into his hands. He carefully opened it, as if it might crumble in his hands. Brian stared at the picture he was holding. Justin was fucking gorgeous…he couldn’t help but wish it was in color. Maybe it was better that it wasn’t though; blond hair and blue eyes? He wouldn’t be able to handle that…hell, he was already getting a hard on. That was only because Justin had included a lovely drawing of his front and back side, with pretty good detail. Well, he was wearing clothes, but Brian had a vivid imagination when he wanted to. And he wanted to. And that smile—it was hard to tear his eyes away from it; it was like a ray of sunshine. 

He tried to shake the images his brain was coming up with. It was unhealthy to fantasize about someone who technically didn’t exist, because it was like teasing yourself. 

Brian decided the only way to get this out of his system was to take a trip to Babylon. First, though, he knew he should write to Justin. He sighed, and made his dick wait.

 

************************************************************************

Justin, 

Damn, why didn’t you tell me you were that hot Justin? If you were here, I’d definitely have to fuck you. As for a drawing of me, you won’t be getting one. I can’t draw for shit. I’ll give you a picture though. I’m sure you’ll like it even more anyway, especially since it’s in color. Well Sunshine, I wish I could write you something longer, but I don’t have time tonight.

Later, 

Brian

 

Justin looked at Brian’s picture and smiled. He wasn’t quite what Justin had imagined him to be--he was much better. In the picture Brian was laying on his bed, with a faint blue glow on his face. His skin was tan, and seemed to glow in the dim light. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, and Justin noted he had a perfectly toned body. Yes, this man was gorgeous.

Justin licked his lips. He got up and went over to his bed, careful not to make a noise so that he didn’t wake anyone up. He held the picture in his left hand, and unbuttoned his pants with his right.

Justin put stuffed his hand inside his pants, realizing that he was already semi hard. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back, only opening them to take quick glances at Brian from time to time. He rubbed his cock slowly at first, savoring the sensations he was feeling. After he was fully erect he began stroking himself faster, with a frenzied rhythm. The entire time he pictured Brian’s face above his, with the same sexy expression he was wearing in the picture. Justin bit his lip hard as he came to make sure he muffled the sound.

He lay in bed for several minutes staring at the ceiling, waiting for his breathing to return to normal. He discarded his pants, and stuffed them under the bed, knowing he would have to wash them himself tomorrow. 

Justin decided he would wait until tomorrow morning to write to Brian again. He was really tired. He took one last look at the picture Brian had sent him, put it in the desk to make sure no one would find it, and went back to his bed.


	4. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Brian sat in his office, thinking about the blonde haired boy who was now his best friend. He still couldn’t get over how beautiful Justin was. 

Brian looked around, even though he knew that no one but he was in the room, and pulled out the drawing. Brian knew that he was pathetic, because he carried the portrait everywhere he went. He usually had it folded in his briefcase. He couldn’t help it though. He was afraid that if he let if out of his sight, then it might just disappear. Of course, he would never admit that to anyone else.

************************************************************************

Another month had passed, and Justin was tired of masturbating to Brian’s picture—he wanted the real thing. He wanted to feel Brian, to taste him. Fantasy could only be so real, and Justin needed more. He wanted to experience all the things Brian had described to him.

Justin tried to fight the feelings he was having, but they wouldn’t go away. It was becoming harder and harder to pretend that nothing was wrong, and his mom was really starting to take notice. She kept trying to confront him, but he always just brushed her off. He had enough to think about without having to worry about her, but she just wouldn’t let it go.

“Justin, honey, tell me what is the matter with you.”

“Mother, I told you that I am fine.”

“I know what you told me, but I’m having trouble believing it.” Justin just looked away. 

“Well, if you will not tell me, then I am not going to force you to. But, I was hoping you would be in better spirits when I told you the news.”

“What news?”

“Daphne’s parents and I have been discussing, and we think it in the best interest of all of us, including you and Daphne, if you two are married.” Justin’s jaw dropped. “You know how she adores you honey. Don’t you have anything to say?”

Justin made no reply. He thought about arguing, thought about making excuses, but none would be legitimate. Marry Daphne? He couldn’t—he was gay! He let his eyes look up at his mother. He would—it was expected.

“…and Daphne will make a lovely bride, don’t you agree Justin?” Had she been talking the entire time?

“Oh, umm, yes Mom, beautiful. I’m going to go talk to her right now okay?”

“Okay, but be home before dark.”

Justin nodded and stood up to leave. He went to his room to get his jacket and the journal. He stuffed the book in his pocket and left.

Justin ran all the way to the woods without stopping. He didn’t think about anything all the way there, his mind was too hazy. He ran until he couldn’t run anymore, and he was sure that he would collapse if he tried to go any farther. 

He sat down under an unfamiliar tree, sure that no one would find him. Justin wasn’t even sure where he was, and he didn’t care. He let his head drop into his hands and began to sob.

He thought about his conversation with his mom. He thought about Daphne and what it would be like to be married—to someone he didn’t even have feelings for. He shuddered. He thought about Brian. It all came down to Brian.

Justin pulled the picture out that Brian had sent of himself. He looked at if for at least ten minutes without moving, and sat it down on the grass beside him. He took out the journal next.

Justin opened it and began reading. He started on the very first page, and re-read word Brian had ever written to him. When he got to the entry after they’d sent each other their picture, and Brian had told Justin that he ‘would fuck him,’ Justin smiled through his tears.

Justin felt like his world was being ripped apart. He realized for the first time that it wasn’t even a real world, just one that he created; but it was all he knew now. Brian was his rock, his comfort. No matter what was going on around him, he knew he always had Brian. Justin had always known he’d never get to see him, but part of him always expected to anyway. It was just fun to imagine.

Justin didn’t realize he was still crying until a big tear drop fell onto the journal, smearing Brian’s name. Justin then decided to do what he always did when something was bothering him.

************************************************************************

October 11, 1701

Brian, 

I know you think of us as just friends, but to me it has always been a little more than that. I feel like I’ve known you my entire life. I never told you, but ever since you sent me that picture, and said that you’d fuck me, it’s all I’ve really wanted. I need to feel the sensations you described to me—I want it from you. I touch myself pretending it’s you, and when I get to the point that I can’t take it anymore, it is your name that falls from my lips. I guess part of me clung to the hope that someday it would actually happen—that someday I’d meet you and my dream would come true. You’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this at all. It is because today I felt reality slap me in the face. My mom told me I was to wed Daphne. The say it is best for us all. If it really is though, then why do I feel so terrible? Like my life has been destroyed in a matter of seconds. I was going to try to argue, but what good would that do me, Brian? I wouldn’t have an excuse that she would understand. And I can’t help it, but part of me feels like I’m betraying you. I’m sorry Brian. If you can’t write me again, I’ll understand. I just needed to tell you this.

Hopefully later, 

Justin


	5. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

**********************************************************************************

Justin sat on his bed, his back facing the door, his eyes turned toward the wall. Tomorrow was his big day, his big, happy day. Who was he kidding? This was a major, major crock of shit, as Brian would put it. He had no idea what to do. He usually asked Brian’s advice about everything, because he envied the other man’s opinion, but the last time Brian had written, it had been short, almost curt, and had answered none of his questions. He hadn’t seemed angry though, more like indifferent.

Justin told himself it didn’t matter; if Brian thought it was no big deal, then it wasn’t. It didn’t matter at all that after he got married he wouldn’t be able to talk to Brian half as much, because Daphne would be around all the time, and she would probably go through his drawers and desk and everything else he owned. It also didn’t matter that he was going against what he was, and pretending to be something he wasn’t.

“Justin,” his mother interrupted his thoughts. “Honey, you should get some sleep, you have a big day tomorrow, and I don’t want you to be tired.”

Justin mustered the biggest smile he could. “Okay, goodnight Mom.”

“Goodnight.”

After Jennifer left the room, Justin got up and walked over to his desk. He picked up the journal and read Brian’s last ‘letter’ to him. His lips formed a sad smile. They could still be friends, right? It was stupid to think they couldn’t. He would just inform Daphne never to touch his things; well, at least not his desk.

Justin sighed and dipped his pen in the ink. He needed to write to Brian again. He got out the words, ‘Dear Brian’ and had to stifle a yawn. He was really tired, and it was really late. Maybe he would just rest his head for a second, and then write some more. He laid his head down on his desk, just to rest his eyes for a minute.  
*******************************************************************************

Brian opened his eyes slowly. A sharp pain made its way through the front of his head, and settled into a dull throbbing. Why did he do this to himself? Hangovers were such a bitch. No more illegal substances for him.

After about ten minutes, Brian stretched and groaned and forced himself to get out of bed. He padded barefoot into the bathroom, realizing the only way he was going to feel better was if he took a hot shower.

Brian stepped into the shower and turned on the hot water. He titled his head back and let the burning stream dampen his face. Taking a shower was the only time he had to himself to really think. Speaking of which, he was thinking about Justin. Had he checked to see if Justin had written back yet? Would he write him back?

Still wondering, Brian stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel loosely around his waist. Feeling much better, he walked over to his desk, hoping (even though he would never admit it) that Justin actually had written him back.

“Holy fuck.” Had he brought a trick back to the house last night? No, he remembered. He had been sucked off in the backroom, and then Michael had brought him home, because he’d been too trashed to drive. Then he came in and went straight to bed. Alone. So who the hell was this?

“Hey,” Brian shook the stranger.

“Hmm…” a small groan. “One moment.”

“One moment my ass. Get the fuck up! I don’t know who you are or how you got in here, but nap time’s over and you’re leaving now.”

Justin jumped at the sound of the harsh, foreign voice ringing in his ear. He looked up and found himself staring into a set of beautiful, familiar eyes. He blinked twice to make sure he was really awake. This was the man from the picture. This was Brian—his Brian.

Brian recognized Justin too. All of the sudden, it was like a calm understanding settled between the two of them. Something just clicked. Both Brian and Justin stopped moving, stopped breathing. Justin just kept thinking that this had to be a dream, because things like this just don’t happen.

Brian looked down into Justin’s blue eyes. He was so gorgeous, so sexy. Brian knew he had to have him, and it couldn’t wait. He had looked hot in the picture, but here, right in front of him, Justin was beautiful, and completely irresistible. Brian licked his lips.

Justin looked up at Brian, and it felt like he was melting. No normal human being was really that gorgeous. Brian had to be some kind of god.

Justin reached up and put his hand on Brian’s cheek and closed his eyes. He was finally touching him, he was right here in front of him. 

Brian eyed Justin from head to toe. Justin stepped closer to him. He could feel Brian’s hot breath on his face and he shivered. Brian put his hand on the back of the smaller man’s neck and pulled him into a passionate kiss. Shocked, Justin just stood there for a minute, his brain still trying to put together what was happening. He had never experienced anything like this before. Finally Justin’s tongue began to move against Brian’s, exploring the man’s mouth.

Brian wrapped his arm around Justin’s back and cupped his dick with his other hand. Justin involuntarily moaned. He could feel that Justin was already hard.

Brian broke the kiss simply for lack of air, and stared down at Justin. He began rubbing his hand in slow circles on Justin’s crotch. It felt so good to Justin through the thin fabric.

Brian slid his hand up to Justin’s waist band and gently tugged his pants until they lay in a forgotten puddle on the floor. Justin stepped back and yanked his shirt off. Brian smiled and pulled Justin into another searing kiss. Getting tired of standing where he was, Brian pushed Justin into the bedroom and shoved him down onto the bed.

Justin fell back against the thick covers. Brian stared at him for a second, taking in his form, and the way his skin seemed to glow from the sunlight streaming in the window, before dropping his towel to the ground. Justin sat up and grabbed Brian’s arm, trying to pull him down onto the bed. Brian grinned and shoved Justin back down. Justin made a face, and if Brian hadn’t been so turned, he would have laughed at Justin’s frustration.

Brian climbed onto the bed and moved between Justin’s legs. He began to kiss Justin’s inner thighs, enjoying the sounds the younger man was making. Brian then took Justin’s balls into his hand, gently massaging them as he moved up to put little kisses Justin’s stomach. Without warning Brian moved back down and took Justin’s entire length in his mouth.

“God Brian,” Justin gasped.

Brian ran his tongue up the underside of Justin’s cock and around the tip of his head. Justin arched his back and Brian could see him gripping the sheets in his fists.

Brian smiled and took his mouth from Justin’s dick. 

“Brian…?”

Brian smiled and moved up to Justin’s ear. 

“I’m gonna fuck you.” 

Justin could barely nod. He’d been waiting what seemed like forever for this to happen. He figured he should be nervous, or scared, if not from the sex, then from the fact that he was her in the first place. But at the sound of a condom ripping and the feeling of Brian spreading his legs apart, Justin was content to pretend it was a dream. He’d worry about the details and reality later. Right now all that mattered was his fantasy.


	6. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

*********************************************************************************************************

Justin squeezed his eyes shut tighter. Why did he have to be waking up right now? All he wanted to do was to go back to sleep and keep dreaming. If he were to admit the truth to everyone, he actually wished that he’d never wake up again—the dream was too perfect.

It had all felt so real, and he remembered everything about it. He could recall the smell of Brian’s hair, the taste of his lips, the way his body felt pressed up against his. Everything he had seen, felt, or tasted had been so real. Never before had Justin had a dream like that.

He knew though, that sleep was not going to come to him again. It probably shouldn’t either, because he knew that he needed to get up—he had a billion things to do that day. It was surprising that no one had awakened him.

Justin sat up slowly, rubbing his hands over his eyes. He was still really tired. He opened his mouth to yawn, but before anything escaped his lips, he felt the bed shift. The bed? He had fallen asleep at the desk…right?

Justin slowly turned his head and looked down on the bed. He rubbed his eyes again, and extended his hand cautiously out in front of him, barely touching Brian. Brian cracked one eye open and made a groaning noise.

Justin put his hand over his mouth and gasped, not really sure what to do. He wondered if Brian had thought it all a dream. Probably not though, since he had probably seen Justin when he opened up his eye.

Finally getting his nerve, Justin shook Brian lightly. When he didn’t respond, Justin shook him a lot harder and said his name. Brian made an annoyed noise, but sat up to face Justin.

“Brian?”

Brian rubbed his eyes. “Who the fuck did you think it was?”

“But I thought…it was just a whim…a dream.”

Brian stared at Justin like he was stupid. “Sunshine, it wasn’t a dream obviously…we’re sitting right here.”

Brian looked over at the clock and made a face, because he didn’t want to be up so early on his day off. He looked back over at Justin though, and couldn’t help but smile.

“Wanna get a shower?”

Justin didn’t say anything, but instead was staring into space, evidently not paying attention to what Brian was saying to him.  
“Okay, you’re clearly freaked out, and I don’t really know what’s going on either. So, let’s get cleaned up, and we’ll try to figure this mess out, okay?”

Justin nodded, and followed Brian who was on his way to the bathroom. He wondered how the older man could be so calm, what with what was going on around them.

When they got into the bathroom, Brian ushered him into what he assumed was the ‘shower,’ and turned on the water. Brian smiled at the look on Justin’s face.

“It’s just water—I swear it won’t hurt you.” Brian smirked.

He took Justin’s hand and pulled him under the facet, both of them sighing with pleasure as the warm water cascaded down their bodies. It felt so good to Justin, who was watching Brian lathering up a sponge. Justin smiled as he thought back to the events the night before.

“What?”

Justin smiled even bigger, not answering, and Brian unconsciously smiled back. He couldn’t help it even if he wanted to. Justin was just too amazing…so beautiful.

Brian took the sponge and rubbed it across Justin’s back, and Justin sighed contentedly. Brian continued to wash Justin’s shoulders and back, moving lower and lower until he reached the top of Justin’s butt.

Justin turned his head around, and Brian pulled him into a kiss. He pulled back gently, and Justin looked at him anxiously, obviously not satisfied yet. 

Brian smiled. “Tell me what you want.”

Justin looked up Brian longingly. “Touch me…please.”

Brian turned Justin around and trailed his finger all the way down to Justin’s cock, and looked up at him. Justin had his eyes shut, waiting for Brian to touch him.

Brian took Justin’s length in his hands, and started to gently stroke it. He pressed Justin up against the shower wall, and started kissing him. Justin moaned into Brian’s mouth, and felt his way blindly down to Brian’s dick.

They started caressing each other to the same rhythm. Brian moved down and kissed Justin’s neck, and put his other on Justin’s butt. Justin groaned, and put his head back against the wall, his eyes shut tightly. Nothing he had ever experienced came close to the way Brian was making him feel, or had made him feel the night before.

Brian started stroking Justin harder and faster, and Justin matched his pace. Brian kissed Justin and pulled back, panting and moaning hard.  
“Bri…so close…ahh…” Justin came in Brian’s hand, and Brian didn’t last much longer, coming right after Justin did.

They kissed each other, and Brian smiled down at Justin. They washed and dried off; Brian put on a robe, and gave Justin one to wear. They made their way into the living room, and Brian motioned for Justin to sit beside him.

“I won’t bite…at least not right now.”

Justin smiled and sat down beside him, resting his head on Brian’s shoulder. He already felt so comfortable with him. They had an amazing physical connection, but even before that, the two had had a good emotional connection through the letters.

Brian ran his fingers through Justin’s hair and sighed. Justin raised up and looked at him, a sad smile on his face.

“How could this have happened, Brian?”

Brian shrugged. “I don’t know. The whole thing was fucked up from the beginning if you ask me.” He looked thoughtful. “But still…you actually being here is strange.”

Justin nodded and looked back at Brian. “I’m not really sure how it happened. I was writing you another letter, and I just fell asleep. Then I…well, you woke me up.”

Brian smirked, remembering how he had tried to get Justin up. He almost felt bad about it now, since he knew it was Justin. Brian sat there and thought.

“You fell asleep? Have you ever slept at the desk before?”

“No.” Justin sat back against the couch. “Maybe that’s why it happened.”

Brian shrugged again. “Maybe it is.”

“My mother hates that desk.”

Brian smiled. “Mothers hate everything.”

Both of them sat there silently, neither wanting to go on, because neither of them knew what to do next. Justin should probably go back home, but then if Brian was honest with himself, he knew he didn’t really want him to. Justin didn’t want to go either.

They sat there in silence for a long time, neither of them looking at each other or saying anything and both of them trying to figure out what was next.


	7. Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

*****************************************************************************************************************

Brian looked at Justin and smiled a little. This was so crazy, and he knew that it really shouldn’t be happening at all. Probably the next step that he should take would be to make sure that Justin got sent home with nothing wrong with him, and before someone noticed he was missing or something. But he really didn’t want to.

Justin was sitting beside Brian picking at his fingernails, and just looking nervous. One of them had to say something, and Brian got the feeling that it would have to be him. He heaved a sigh, and Justin looked up.

“You know, you really should go home, Justin.”

Justin looked down at his lap. Brian regretted saying it, because he knew that he had crushed the kid’s hope, but it couldn’t be helped. Justin looked back up sadly.

“Yes…but….I want to stay here—with you.” 

He looked back down quickly, not really wanting to see Brian’s reaction. Brian pulled Justin into his lap and kissed the back of his neck.

“I want you to stay too,” he admitted. “But you and I both know that it’s not that simple. You don’t belong here.”

“Then you could come with me.”

Brian shook his head no. “Justin, we come from two completely different worlds. I could never be happy where you’re at, and you could never be happy here.”

Brian thought that Justin would cry, or beg him to change his mind. Instead his head shot up and he glared at Brian. 

“I will never be content to live in a time or place that has people who would have me deny who I am to satisfy them either.”

Brian stared at Justin, not sure what to say to him. He would agree if he opened his mouth—he didn’t believe that you should every have to pretend to be something that you weren’t. It just wasn’t right.

“Look, let’s just spend the day together, okay? Then tonight, you’ll go back to sleep on the desk again…you know that this is the way it has to be, don’t you?”

Justin started to stare at the floor, but Brian grabbed his chin and made Justin look at him. Justin scowled.

“You understand, don’t you? I’m not doing this because I don’t want you here…I do want you here, Justin. But I can’t give you what you need, or what you’ll have. You’ll have a loving wife and a family, and I just can’t give you those things.”  
“I understand.” He whispered it, and Brian let him drop his head because he could see tears in his eyes, and he didn’t want to have to deal with that.

“Get up, we’ll get you dressed, and I’ll take you shopping for some new clothes.”

“I’m obviously not going to be in need of new things if you don’t intend for me to say.”

Brian could hear the sadness and anger in the blonde’s voice, but refused to give in. He pushed him off of him and took him into the bedroom, tossing him a shirt and some jeans. He put them on, but the jeans were to long and the shirt was too big. Brian laughed at him.

“You won’t have to wear them for long.”

Justin nodded, and Brian led him out of the loft and into the parking lot. The got into the car without talking, but Brian could tell it was because Justin was fascinated with everything around him, and not because he was angry.

They pulled out onto the road, and Justin was gripping the seat so tight that his knuckles were turning white. When Brian looked at his face though, Justin didn’t look scared at all. He turned to Brian and gave him a sad smile, and then looked out the window in fascination.

“I wish I had something to draw with.”

“I’ll buy you a sketchpad.”

Justin didn’t say anything, and kept staring out the window. Brian thought about taking him to the diner, but decided against it, because Justin was just a little too different for everyone else to get to know, and he didn’t want to have to answer any questions.

The pulled into the mall parking lot and Justin sat in the car until Brian came around and opened the door for him. He smirked when Justin gripped his arm tightly while they were walking up to the doors. Brian could tell he was kind of freaked out, but interested nonetheless. He was staring at everything as if he was trying to memorize it.

When they got to the doors and they automatically opened, Justin let out a surprised gasp. Brian laughed at him, and urged him forward to the entrance of his favorite store to buy his casuals.

He picked out a blue shirt to match Justin’s eyes, and a pair of form fitting jeans to hug his ass. Brian let Justin try them on, and he looked absolutely amazing in them. Too bad he wouldn’t be wearing them any other time than today.

Brian pushed Justin back into the dressing room and pressed him against the wall. Justin looked at Brian, confused, until Brian pressed his lips against his. Justin moaned into Brian’s kiss. When Brian pulled away Justin looked at him curiously.

Brian locked the door. “Let’s have some sex.”

*************************************************************

After they got out of the mall, they went back to the car, and Justin was a little more sure of himself. Every time they passed anything though, Justin would point to it and ask what it was, and what it did, and even things like who invented it. 

It wasn’t annoying, but it was a little time consuming. Still, Brian took Justin out to the nicest restaurant he could think of appropriate for the way they were dressed. Justin marveled at the food, and practically inhaled two steaks. Brian usually didn’t order desert either, but he figured since Justin was here, he’d get them some ice cream. 

“This is fantastic! What did you say it was again?”

Justin had ice cream dripping off of his chin, and Brian laughed at him, because everyone was looking at them with amused and confused expressions. Brian took his napkin and wiped it off of Justin’s face.

“It’s called a Hot Fudge Sunday.”

After Justin had finished eating, Brian suggested that they spend all the remaining time they had together in loft, having sex. Justin wanted to talk and eat ice cream too, and Brian promised they would.

They got back to the loft and made love—and fucked—for about five hours all together. After stopping again, Justin smiled brightly at Brian, and rested his head on his chest. Brian looked down at him sadly. He so did not want this kid to leave.

“Brian?”

“Yeah?”

“You told me how you were in the letters, so you don’t have to say anything back, but I love you.”

Brian kissed Justin on the forehead but remained silent. He had no idea what to say, because he wasn’t ready to use that word yet—especially since this kid was leaving him tonight. He couldn’t deal with admitting love to Justin—he couldn’t even admit it to himself.

“Brian?”  
“What?”

“Can I have another Hot Fudge Sunday?”

Brian laughed. “We’re all out, but we do have some Ben and Jerry’s, which I’m sure you’ll love just as much.”

Brian got out of bed to go get it, and while he was gone, Justin rolled to Brian’s side of the bed. He inhaled the pillow, and willed the tears forming in his eyes to go away before Brian got back. He wasn’t fast enough though, and Brian saw him. 

He didn’t say anything though, and sat down next to Justin and fed him a bite of the ice cream. Brian could tell by the way his eyes lit up that Justin loved it. He smiled at Justin and Justin flashed him the smile that he had already fallen in love with. He turned away.

“You know Justin; you should be getting to bed now, okay?”

“But I…okay.”

He leaned over and kissed Justin on the cheek, catching the tear streaming down the blonde’s face in his mouth. Justin kissed Brian softly on the lips and got up and went to the bag Brian had bought him earlier. He pulled out a sketchpad and some pencils and sat down across from him.

“May I draw you before I go?”

Brian nodded, and leaned back against the bed. Justin looked down at the paper and quickly began to draw Brian. He wanted to get this done as fast as he could, because he didn’t want Brian to get impatient.

After he was finished he closed the book, but Brian stopped him and took it away. He looked at it and smiled. 

“Justin, this is amazing.”

Justin blushed. “No one else thinks that. They all say it is a waste of my time and will amount to nothing.”

“Speaking of them, you have to go to bed now."


End file.
